chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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