If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
