I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
