Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
