Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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