Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
