Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
