Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
