jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
