I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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