Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
