I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
