She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
