Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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