I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
