I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
