while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
