the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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