Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
