I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
