I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So many bounce houses so little time
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
