every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
