Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
