They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
