I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
