I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
