If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
