I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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