But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
