it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
