I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Randomize
