ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
