I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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