Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
