i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You're a waste of cheezeits
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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