Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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