This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
