Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
