Sponge bath it is.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
