Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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