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I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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