Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
