Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
