so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
