I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
