There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
