i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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