My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
