I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
