Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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