there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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