i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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