She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
