we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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