i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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