If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
