hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
