He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
